


I am sorry

by Just_Passing_By



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Love, sad feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 05:15:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6181717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Passing_By/pseuds/Just_Passing_By
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>\Letters to the lost sometimes are the only way to really heal</p>
            </blockquote>





	I am sorry

Steve was back in his apartment lying on his bed simply stareing at the celing with a small scowl. If Bucky was really working for HYDRA why had he saved him? There was no logic to it unless he remembered who he was? No, he was sure Bucky had no idea who he was and how close they used to be. So what did that really mean than? So many questionz buzzed in his mind giving him a migrane. His stomach lurched as he tried to sit up, the world beginning to spin. Steve swallowed hard and staggered over to his desk refusing to let a little concussion and Nausea slow him down. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do at his desk, but anything was better than lying helpless in his bed. He grabbed some paper and sighed.

_Dear Buck,_

_Yeah, that is your name by the way. Well actually, your name is James but we have always called you Bucky, Buck to your friends, and The Buck to the ladies. I know you don’t remember but I hope someday you will. Hell you’ll probably never see this letter so I don’t know why I am writing it but hey, why not right?_

_You probably don’t remember that we grew up on Brooklyn. You were my best friend, well more like a bother really. You used to have to remind me not to run more than a few feet, I had really bad asthma back then. I also had a strong sense of justice and that being true I used to pick a lot of fights. Bullies pissed me off and you always had to come flying around the corner to stop me from getting myself killed. I never thought I would miss those days but I do. I miss the simplicity of it all. I would scream at some kid for whatever he was doing and you would comer around the corner like a super hero._

_You went off to war and I wanted to fallow you like a stray dog. Whenever you would come back you always scolded me because of how weak I looked. Because when you weren’t there I didn’t take care of myself. I wouldn’t eat or take my medicine that I could only just barely afford. I didn’t buy it if you weren’t there to make me. Though I would never tell you that. I got into more fights when you weren’t around they loved to make me pay for the times you beat them down I didn’t care._

_I did finally join the military, well Captain America did. I never really got a chance to tell you about the serum. It was like I became a whole different person. It was like the boy from Brooklyn had melted away and all that was let was, well, who I am now I guess._

_I don’t remember much from my early days as the America super soldier but one memory haunts me. You’re reaching for my hand and I am almost there, I can feel your fingertips getting close to mine, but you fall. You fall and all I can do is watch. I know there will be no body to bring home. You would never be brought home. I watched my brother fall and I was helpless._

_Everyone talks about me crashing the plane as a tragedy but if I am being honest with you, I gave up. I didn’t want to be a super soldier anymore I just wanted to be the good old boy from Brooklyn who waited patiently for you to have some leave time. I could have saved it; I know that I could have. The plane wasn’t quite hopeless yet but I just gave up. Man, you would have killed me if you had seen me ignoring all of the commands._

_You could imagine my shock in seeing you again… I don’t blame you if you’re pissed. I should have tried harder. You always went out on a limb for me, letting yourself get hurt I should have done something but I let you die._

_I don’t know if you’re in there, or of HYDRA completely wiped away the man that was once my best friend. I am going to fight for you. Fight for the man I lost back in the 40’s. I know some part of you is in there, you have to be. You saved me even when you could have killed me. I’ll fight for you Bucky, for as long as I live._

_I’m with you,_

_Steve Rogers_

He stared at the letter for a while and was shocked as a tear fell down his cheek. When had he started crying? He turned his head and looked at the shadow box on the wall. It was Bucky’s shadow box. It was beautiful in a sad way. He had used the one personal picture he had of Bucky. The flag was folded neatly and his awards and ribbons displayed beautifully.

“Night Buck.” He fell onto his bed.

 _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The next morning he was shocked to find his window open. He sat up slowly and reached for a pistol he kept on his desk. Where the pistol normally would be was a letter. He glared for a moment which switched to tears quickly as he began to read

_Dear Steve,_

_Yeah a part of me is still in here._

_Till the end of the line,_

_Bucky_

Steve staggered over to the window and looked out. There had to be some trace any trace of his brother, his friend, where was he? When he turned there was a note pinned to his bedroom door

_DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT._

Damn it Bucky…

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah I know the civil war will address this but I think it's cute


End file.
